Dadjokes and Winners of the OXYMORON contest!
The turnout was good and many morons were entered into the trailblazing post I did 8 days ago to just spread a bit of mirth around. I feel like using Gwyneth Paltrow as a lead in image was the right choice too, it was her or Ivanka Trump. It was a very hard decision to make! Nobody can deny how beautiful either lady is and while Gwyneth is banking on her Orgasm candle, dear Ivanka is getting to sleep with a male stick person~ Jared Kushner is almost like a Praying Mantis.
I sort of feel a bit prophetic after reading again the original post about how gossamer the whole system is and also ....resilient. Here is the link to the original post, feel free to dive right in and embrace Mercury Retrograde which as stated before, is a time of radical change. You can Google that stuff yourself and then pontificate on your belly button or the meaning of life or something :)
In no particular order , here are the Winners!
@small1axe "Social Media ,... must be the greatest oxymoron ever."
"Good grief! now my only choice is to slip into virtual reality"
"My favorite oxymoron is me." you will get YOUR prize later ;)
"much like pretty ugly some of these are relying on double meaning such as patient doctor,broke fixer and stable changed"
Do you have some good Dad Jokes? Please share some in the comments section on THIS post, please tell a dad joke and the best 3 get a full UV. Happy Father's Day to all the Daddy's out there even if you are just made of SUGAR!!!
this is all meant to be in good fun which should not be a four letter word as it is only three letters :) Have a great upcoming week and remember that Bears help clean up the forest to shake off the weak leaves.
*images by giphy , the most exciting place on the internet besides here :)
"A man walks into a bar and says 'ouch'"
Looking forward to my prize ;)
I'm looking forward to mine which would be......honestly, I'm so wanting a burger, ahhhhhh
My favorite oxymoron is
‘Happily Married’ ;)
You are posting some quite interesting contests here. Your username reminds me of a username i have used in many games ‘Kissmyaxe’ - and i found it matches with your straightforward and kinky tone.
Sad I don’t have a dad joke here. I will definitely look up to your other contests.
Keep Hiving & Showering Love
awesome, just wanna have fun and don't like fakebook or instagram sooo, shrug
thanks for the awesome comment
have a good one
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I have 2 favorite dad jokes- unfortunately over the internet they are slightly difficult to convey.
What do you call an armless man in the ocean?
Bob(please envision me bobbing slightly up and down as I say this)
What is green and invisible?
This Melon (please envision me holding my arms towards you as if offering up a large watermelon for your consideration)
gonna go to Rum......deez melons!
DONT LET HIM SEE MY REPLY! KEEP IT SECRET, KEEP IT SAFE!!!!
whats brown and sticky?
very very dadjoke
Kids , your mammy is in hospital because she had a car mechanic punch her holes , what got grease mixed up in the wrong one giving inflectional problems to the bladder . Don't blame me , i was giving no dick for months already . ..... my best and worse joke as a dad ever ,.... did cost me ,... everything .
oh my , I don't know to laugh or cry or both
If it was a sitcom , funny AF ,.. for real ,.. i did both . On my darkest day .
where does a general keep his armies?
Up his sleevies!
Ah Dad jokes, the joy of every Dad and the pain of every teenager. I always liked to pop them on my daughter when her friends around just to get that extra embarrassment factor.
What did the duck say when it bought chapstick?
Put it on my bill!
Whoever is directly controlling the V2K told me to kill myself. They told me if I killed myself now it would save the lives of countless others.Saying the longer I wait to kill myself the more people will suffer.
They are reckless and should have shown the proper media what they had before taking me hostage for 5 years. I know there are many in prison that dont deserve to be there because of this. Your stay in prison will not be fun @battleaxe and friends. People are going to want you dead when they find out what you did. I hope you die a slow painful death. You sick mother fuckers.
Its a terrorist act on American soil while some say its not real or Im a mental case. Many know its real. This is an ignored detrimental to humanity domestic and foreign threat. Ask informed soldiers in the American military what their oath is and tell them about the day you asked me why. Nobody has I guess. Maybe someone told ill informed soldiers they cant protect America from military leaders in control with ill intent. How do we protect locked up soldiers from telling the truth?